05/01/2004 21:22
Hello!!! Man I miss this!!! Now rhythm has slowed down and I can go back to writing my mind, my life, u know... so, lets get started, right!? So much has happened, I'm no longer the person I was, and thank god for it, I just couldn't stand that girl, and my cliques haven't complained, some folks came up to me and actually said that they liked the change, so, as u can see, it's all good, right!?

Wrong! I mean this is life!! I'm not writing a book here, shit happens too! There are some bad thing that are a constant with me, but lets not put weight into that right now.. Lets leave it for later...

One College year has gone by, I can't say it was hard, but I can't say it was easy ether, it got me down badly, in every sense sometimes, but especially in the biological one... I have had everything studying can give you, all sort of weakness diseases, stress ones, oh my... the highest point of it all was my immensely grave anemia, but hold on, hold on, u can chill, the only reason I'm telling u this is 'cos it came with light, I mean, it was harsh on me, definitely, but it gave me what I always asked 4, the will to eat like a healthy person would, which later on provided me the maintenance of my loss of weight, my mental health improvement and things I can't even imagine, friends say I'm happier, and I really am!

College has also opened my eyes, and won battles with my fears, showing me I found my path, my gifts (yeah, I got'em!!! yey, who knew?!). I now have got the courage and the will to go on, I can live, man! And being less shy, giving me space to be me (which was probably the hardest), I got to make great friends (adding up to the amazing ones already in my heart FOREVER), I'm loving the E team, man. Coming from St Americo I had no idea what it was to have joy in seeing the same people over and over again, every day, to actually like every single one of them (except one..) and love so many of the guys! They're great, they make me feel good for knowing them, u know!? So good!!

Still on the matter of friends, I miss my old ones so much! and I'm also a lil'scared, 'cos this last week I tripped with one of them, and it was weird, though we still love each other, there isn't the sisterly connection anymore, we aren't each others confidents no more and to see that we're like that with other people hurts, I don't know... it's just really scary to lose something so precious.

But changing the subject, I feel so much looser, finally I'm starting not to care too much about people's opinion, I mean, I always was like that when I talked, I always was true to myself on that, I think it isn't fair to lie neither to the person nor for your sake, but I still would not do stuff because of 'what would people think', but know... it's awesome, I can laugh sing and dance, I can jump up and down, feels like freedom (the true kind, with respect... mostly)

So, wrapping up, all I want this year is friends, healthiness for a change, and the continuity of the happiness I feel/felt.

All my love, urs truly =]

enviada por Murial






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